


but lately, you’ve been calling me baby

by flannelandjorts



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, a good portion of this first chapter is text message convos, background simone/jenna, but anyway, i have literally no outline for this fic i started it at 11pm, itll progress from there i swear, matchmaker simone, not so oblivious pat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 23:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16628468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flannelandjorts/pseuds/flannelandjorts
Summary: “Hey Siri,” he said at home one night, activating his phone’s assistant, “text Producer Pat.”What would you like to say to, Producer Pat?“You wanna go out for dinner after work tomorrow?”Your message to Producer Pat says, ‘You wanna go out for dinner after work tomorrow.’ Ready to send it?“Send.”Message sent.





	but lately, you’ve been calling me baby

**Author's Note:**

> Okay like the tags said I started this at around 11pm and finished it just a little before 1 and we don’t proofread our work we just post it and hope it’s coherent like MEN
> 
> I have a very vague idea of where I want to go with this  
> next chapter will be more pat centric definitely 
> 
> anyway! enjoy this
> 
> xx polygon don’t interact xx

Brian had a lot of crushes on male celebrities in his life - he was very bi and any cute face he saw made his heart skip a beat - up to and including Pat Gill of Polygon.

Brian had been a loyal fan of the channel for years, and when the opportunity arose for him to apply to work with his idols, well, he couldn’t pass it up. It was like a dream come true when he got hired.

His first stream with Pat was a little awkward, to say the least. But as the weeks went on, the two had gotten more and more comfortable around each other.

Their nightmare public access show seemed to be a pretty big contributing factor, of course. Turns out, working so closely with someone for so many weeks on a wacky video project tends to bring people together.

But as the two of them got to know each other better, Brian’s feelings just got progressively worse. Which, he didn’t even think was possible, but alas.

The problem was, Brian wasn’t subtle. He really wasn’t. The night he and Simone drunkenly shared their office crushes with each other, she laughed at him and told him she already figured it out ages ago.

“Then why’d you ask?” Brian mumbled, his face red not only from the alcohol.

“Because it’s cute!” Simone had said. “You should totally ask him out.”

“I will when you ask Jenna out.”

“Hey! How dare you twist this back at me! We’re talking about you right now, not me.” She took another drink and licked her lips. “Anyway, I think he’s totally into you, but he’s kind of a dumbass. He won’t know you’re interested in him until you like, literally propose to him or something.”

“I’m not proposing to him!” Brian objected.

“I didn’t say you HAD to! I’m just saying, he’s oblivious. You’re going to have to make it even more obvious than you already are that you like him.” She slammed her fist on the table. “Oh! I know! Suck his dick under his desk. A classic, can never go wrong with that one.”

“Simone!” Brian practically yelled out of exasperation.

“WHAT?” She replied, barely able to stop herself from laughing.

“You are a terrible friend. I am never coming to you with relationship advice again. You are an awful little sack of a human,” he said, or at least tried to. Simone’s honk-laughter was contagious.

* * *

Taking what Simone said into account, Brian tried literally everything he could to get Pat’s attention.

“Hey Siri,” he said at home one night, activating his phone’s assistant, “text Producer Pat.”

_ What would you like to say to, Producer Pat? _

“You wanna go out for dinner after work tomorrow?”

_ Your message to Producer Pat says, ‘You wanna go out for dinner after work tomorrow.’ Ready to send it? _

“Send.”

_ Message sent. _

His phone lit up with a response almost immediately, but not from who he wanted.

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For Lettuce** **_(11:19pm)_ **

_ are you finally asking out Pat Gill?? _

_ i heard you talking to Siri  _

_ omg  _

_ keep me updated PLEASE I like him _

_ Mom thinks u guys are dating already anyway lol _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For Lettuce** **_(11:19pm)_ **

_ Lol finally _

_ Good luck! _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_CHANGED CHAT NAME TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE**

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ It’s a new era _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ he hasn’t even replied yet!! _

_ i think he might be sleeping lmao _

_ oh fuck what if i woke him up _

_ i regret every deicusion I’ve ever made in my entire life _

_ *decision _

_ I’m too bi and tired for this _

 

 **#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ F _

 

 **#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ thanks _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ F _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:20pm)**

_ thanks _

 

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:21pm)**

_ F _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:21pm)**

_ ok that’s enough respect thank you _

_ OH NO HES TYPING _

_ FELLAS _

_ he’s taking his darn good time my heart is going to beat out of my throat and im going to die _

_ tell zuko I lo _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:21pm)**

_ F _

 

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:21pm)**

_ F _

_ I’ll get the ice cream _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:21pm)**

_ I’ll get the sad Adele tunes _

 

Brian muted the group chat for a bit so he could stare anxiously at the typing bubble from Pat.

 

**FROM: Producer Pat (11:22pm)**

_ sure dude sounds good  _

_ pizza like usual?  _

 

Brian bit his lip. I mean, yeah, they’ve gone out to dinner before. But that usually was more of a, oh we’re both hungry after work let’s stop and get something together because we both know there isn’t any food in either of our apartments, kind of thing. It was hardly ever planned, especially not at this hour. God, he was probably overthinking. Best to be direct, right?

 

**TO: Producer Pat (11:23pm)**

_ yea we can do that if you want _

_ i have something to tell you but I’ll wait until tomorrow haha _

 

**FROM: Producer Pat (11:23pm)**

_ that’s cool man _

_ I got some shit I wanted ur input on for work too _

_ cya tomorrow _

_ kiss zuko goodnight for me _

 

**TO: Producer Pat (11:23pm)**

_ ok lol goodnight _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT A SCREENSHOT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:24pm)**

_ he’s such a dumbass I can’t believe I’m in love with him  _

_ he probably thinks it’s for work  _

 

 **#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:24pm)**

_ I mean?? _

_ At least he said yes?? _

_ Just make it as obvious of a date as you can  _

_ Buy him flowers or something _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:24pm)**

_ no!! I’m not buying him flowers _

_ I’ll look like an idiot  _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:24pm)**

_ you don’t just LOOK like an idiot  _

_ you ARE an idiot! _

_ but you’re OUR idiot and we’ll be damned if we don’t get you two hooked up  _

 

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:25pm)**

_ Jo is right!! _

_ You got us helping u _

_ Your own personal matchmakers >:3c _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:25pm)**

_ I don’t trust EITHER of u OR that emoticon but thanks  _

_ also jo go to bed you have work in like 5 hours  _

 

**the only nonsmelly roommate** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:25pm)**

_ You got me  _

_ Ok goodnight guys _

 

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:26pm)**

_ Night jo!! _

_ I’m heading to bed too and so should u bri _

_ Try not to stress too much about it and get some sleep _

 

**#1 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:26pm)**

_ easier said than done lmao but ur right thanks laura  _

_ goodnight you two  _

_ wait laura if ur still in the kitchen make sure zuko has water bc he was out when I got up yesterday morning  _

 

**#2 smelliest sibling** **_SENT TO_ ** **The L In LMaM Stands For LOVE (11:26pm)**

_ just refilled it _

_ goodnight! <3 _

 

Brian sent a heart in reply and set his phone down on his nightstand. He definitely wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight.


End file.
